Healing From Heartbreak

May 5, 2020
Healing from heart break

Heart break is one of the deepest, most intense feelings a person can experience. The sadness and longing can feel like too much to bear. Ultimately, grieving the end of a relationship may feel like the end of the world at first, but it does get better.

There are so many reasons relationships come to an end, and they’re not all terrible. Sometimes two people just fall out of love or know that, realistically, they can’t make it work right now. And, honestly, this type of break up is probably the worst. There may be no obvious reason why it’s not working anymore, and that can almost be harder to accept than something blatant like cheating.

Regardless of what way the relationship ended, there are ways to heal. There are ways to pick yourself back up, put on a smile, and continue on with life without feeling like it’s too much to bear.

Immediately after a break up when the feelings are fresh, take a lot of time for self care and self love. This doesn’t have to be in the form of bubble baths and aromatherapy (unless you want it to be). Tt can be anything that makes you feel whole.

Here’s a list of some different self care activities:
  • Cook a new meal
  • Drive to a new part of your town and walk around. Let yourself get lost
  • Hike a new trail and keep your phone in your bag
  • Visit an adoption center and play with the animals
  • Apply to volunteer at a place whose mission statement fills you with hope
  • Listen to a self help audiobook
  • Try out new infused water recipes (stay hydrated, and be creative!)
  • Journal about your idea of a perfect life and what you can do now to set you up

When you feel a surge of sadness, write about it. What does it feel like? Where do you notice it? Does moving your body help?

When you’re feeling anxious energy, move your body. Yoga is great for heart break. We store our feelings in our physical body (see here) and yoga’s deep stretching and intimate postures allows us to release this built up emotion. On the mat there are no judgements, no one is watching you. Feel free to cry it out on the mat (I know I have).

If you feel like you just need to get up and go, go. Grab whatever you need and go. Go for a walk or a run if you’re at home. If you’re at school or work, go walk around the building once or twice to get out that energy. If you have the time, do a high intensity workout and use every ounce of that energy to push you. Scream into a pillow. Do whatever you need to do to release that tension so it doesn’t store itself in your body.

After the initial pain starts to melt away, you may still feel some residual anxiety or sadness surrounding the loss (because that’s what it is, honestly). There are ways to turn that anxious energy into new opportunities that will leave you feeling fulfilled and grateful.

Here’s a few ways to utilize anxious energy:
  • Write a list of 10 things you want to look into. Maybe you’ve thought about starting a blog or trying a new workout class. Maybe you want to research something related to your work that you haven’t made time for yet? Whatever interests you is perfect.
  • When you’re feeling your energy rise, or feel like you’re thinking too much about your break up, look at your list, pick something, and go with it. Diving into a new topic can take our attention away from the current situation.
  • Any time you feel this energy surfacing, go back to your list. Start a new project and work at it each day. Hopefully this is something you enjoy (bonus if you’ve been planning to try it for a while) and will distract you from what’s going on while also using the energy that has accumulated (bonus!).
Discover What It’s Like To Be Single Again

Take time to really be single. If you want to read more about that, see my last post here. Think about what being single means to you and what opportunities have been given to you now. Is there something you’ve always wondered about yourself but haven’t dedicated time to digging deeper into? Well, now’s a great time! Dive head first into self discovery. There are tons of resources on the internet, such as fun articles, academic articles, YouTube videos, podcasts, self help books, audiobooks, you name it and I’m sure there’s something.

Embrace The New Freedom

Once you move past the initial stages of heart break, you may notice a lightening in your body. You’re releasing the emotions that are weighing you down and do not serve you. Embrace all that you are on your own and all that you can become. Know that you have infinite ability to do all that you want to do. You are capable and you are enough. Believe that you do not need another person to tell you that you are good enough, because you simply are.

Maybe in time another person will come along that fits well into your life, but for now, focus on you and what makes you happy. Focus on what fills you and makes you feel whole.

Comments (20)

  • Alabi Victoria

    May 5, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    This reminds me of a friend of mine that was heartbroken a few years back, I wish this tip was at her reach, she would have savored them, thanks for this

    1. Olufunke Kolapo

      May 10, 2020 at 3:15 pm

      Great post!
      I wish I had seen this some years back. Maybe I wouldn’t have taken some steps I took then. But now, I am enjoying the freedom and using my energy to do the things I love.

  • Alyssa

    May 5, 2020 at 3:32 pm

    Great article! I loved how you talked about utilizing your restless energy. I think that is so important! We need to place our focus elsewhere while we take time to heal. 🙂

  • Natalie

    May 6, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    Self care and self love after a breakup is incredibly important. Thank you for sharing these tips! ❤️

  • Kimberly

    May 6, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    This is great advice! I especially love the fact that you encourage people to be truly single and spend some time getting to know themselves before diving back into a relationship.

  • Dayana

    May 7, 2020 at 4:00 am

    Awesome and helpful one… Really want to share with my friends.. I already tried some of your tips when relationship fails..motivated to try others too. ..loved.

  • Cristina Petrini

    May 7, 2020 at 11:20 am

    It must be a truly terrible experience which, however, opens your eyes to a different way of life.

  • Ak

    May 7, 2020 at 1:20 pm

    This is great advice. Self care is so important, and heartbreak is incredibly difficult to heal from.

  • Tracy @ Cleland Clan

    May 7, 2020 at 3:42 pm

    I love the ideas about going some place new–hiking a new trail or driving to a new part of town and walking around. A change in scenery always makes me feel better.

  • Jen @ Jenron Designs

    May 7, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Great tips to help a heartbreak, since they come in all forms not just love lost.

  • Bhagyashree

    May 7, 2020 at 7:18 pm

    We need more posts like this… 💙💙

    To support specifically youth. They feel so lost.

    Beautiful.. ♥️♥️

  • Kelsey

    May 7, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    These are great tips that will help a lot of people! Self-care is so important whether you’re going through a breakup or not! It’s like preventative care for your mental health!

  • Stephanie

    May 7, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    Love your ideas for using anxious energy! Lord knows I have plenty of that right now! I will definitely try some of these out!

  • rosemary | a hint of rosemary

    May 8, 2020 at 2:52 am

    I’ve experienced life-shattering heartbreak (became a widow at 22 years of age) and at that time I though my life was over. But by looking forward and embracing new possibilities, I was able to move on to a new life. Your article is genuine and insightful.

    1. shemindfully

      May 9, 2020 at 12:52 am

      Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m so happy you could relate to some of my views. I hope you have gone on to have an immensely rewarding and fulfilling life, Rosemary!

  • Sydney

    May 8, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    These are fantastic and mature ways to deal with heartbreak, great read

  • Holly

    May 8, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    Great post! We all have personal heartbreaks in our lives.. this will help so many to get through theirs!

  • Shamika

    May 9, 2020 at 2:13 am

    This post came at the right time. Thank you! Great read.

  • iemexploring

    May 17, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    Great post! sometimes the simplest things are the ones that matter the most to heal. Some amazing tips here for anyone in this situation. Love the idea of visiting an animal adoption centre, Animals are the best friends you can have, anyone suffering heartbreak should for sure look into adopting and dog or cat and heal there hearts together <3

  • HeyJugni

    May 18, 2020 at 3:06 pm

    I don’t want to thank you just from my side, but from all the women out there who are going under depression due to heartaches. This is for all of them. You did a great job ..

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